Ivy Cao

I don’t like drama, but I need it to feel alive.

Sometimes, I hate drama.

But other times, I feel like drama is a blessing.

Right now, I feel so empty — because nothing happened. My mind is just… blank.

Yesterday, there was some drama: I had a flat tire in the morning and had to get it fixed before I could drive to work. It was frustrating, yes — but it gave me something to think about.

Today? Peaceful. Nothing happened. No chaos, no surprises.

You might think I’m crazy — like, “Who the hell actually likes drama?”

But before you judge me, let me explain.

I like a little drama because it gives me something to write about.

When something happens — even if it’s annoying — I process it by writing. Yesterday’s tire issue made me frustrated, but I wrote down all my thoughts. In a way, it helped me improve my writing and thinking skills.

Today, with nothing going on, I don’t know what to think. What to say. What to write.

And that’s the point.

I like drama… because it keeps my mind active and sharpens how I process things.

Of course, I don’t mean the bad kind – just a little drama, enough to shake things up a bit.

I still feel like I sound crazy saying this. I’m not sure if it’s even true. I just feel so empty right now, and I need something to happen in my mind.

Stop Judging Based on Gender or Nationality

It’s unfair for people to judge others based on gender, nationality, or skin color — whether those judgments are compliments or criticisms.

This tendency is deeply rooted in human nature. For example, when commenting on someone’s appearance, men are often called handsome while women are called beautiful. But really, both terms mean the same thing: good-looking. Why must we divide even compliments along gender lines?

Culturally and historically, men and women have been expected to play different roles. Men are expected to provide and protect; women are expected to cook, clean, and raise children. These are outdated, stereotypical gender roles.

In today’s world — especially with more women achieving career success and financial independence — these old expectations are becoming less and less relevant. Eventually, they will fade out completely.

I’ve also heard generalizations like “Chinese people blindly respect the elderly,” or “Westerners usually leave their aging parents in nursing homes instead of caring for them personally.” While there may be some truth in these statements from a cultural or economic perspective, it’s unfair to judge an entire group of people this way. What often influences these behaviors is economic and social development, not nationality.

At the end of the day, we are all human. Yes, we have different genders, backgrounds, and nationalities — but if we want a more equal world, we need to stop judging people based on these surface-level traits.

👉 If someone doesn’t clean the house, it’s not because he’s a man — it’s simply because he doesn’t like cleaning or doesn’t feel the need to.
👉 If someone doesn’t care for their elderly parents, it’s not because they’re Western — it’s because the responsibility is handled differently in their society.

Stereotypes might carry a grain of truth, but to build a fairer and more understanding society, we need to focus less on them — and more on each individual’s unique story.

Thought of the day

I suffer from the nice girl syndrome!

I have a strong desire to please others and offer help proactively. However, I’ve noticed that this can sometimes make people feel pressured rather than truly helped.

In the end, they might even feel like they’re doing me a favor instead of appreciating my assistance.

I realized this problem a long time ago, but I don’t know why I still can’t get rid of this bad habit!

Ivy! Pay attention! It’s not your responsibility to make people happy, it’s not your duty to anticipate people’s preferences and offer your help accordingly and proactively! Let them ask you for help! Don’t offer your help unsolicitedly, you are devaluing yourself! Period!

Life diary on Feb 2, 2024

Yesterday was a bit of a time drain for me.

My family and I are about to head back to our hometown for the Spring Festival, which is around 1000 km away. It’s colder there, so I thought it would be a good idea to grab some cozy down jackets to stay comfy. I then went to online shopping, and it quickly became a never-ending cycle of searching, comparing, and haggling. It took me two whole hours just to buy two jackets! Can you believe it?

I realized I’ve got this bad habit of taking forever to make decisions. What’s even worse is that I tend to overthink whether I made a good deal or not after I receive my purchases.

From now on, I’m determined to do better. First, I’ll try my best to avoid unnecessary shopping, especially for clothes. Second, I’ll make an effort to avoid decision fatigue. Although this may mean missing out on some options, the trade-off will be the conservation of my most valuable assets—time, energy, and mental clarity.

Life difference between thirties and twenties

In my thirties, life feels completely different from my twenties. Back then, I had boundless energy and an insatiable curiosity about the world. I was always eager to explore new places, try different foods, and meet new people.

But as time went on, I got married and had children. Suddenly, the world lost some of its allure. All I wanted was to stay in a quiet environment, which was hardly possible with my active and noisy kids.

This is just a natural progression in life. I’m constantly growing and evolving. My surroundings, physical condition, and preferences have all changed. All things are different now.

I realized that I often dwell on my past. I keep looking at my old photos, reminiscing about my past experiences, and daydreaming about “what if” scenarios, which are a waste of time.

Life can’t be rewound. I need to focus on looking forward and continuously improving myself as a person.

I miss my hometown

So that constant desire and yearning stays, and you can only wish. That nostalgia can stay like a rumination within you. Every day, that familiar nostalgia for your hometown pulses like a heartbeat, reminding you of your desire to go back.

I was born and raised in a small village which is located in Jiangxi province, the southeast China.

There were only about 100 households in the village and the land was very open. We were living very comfortably and every household had their own yard and garden. Moreover, we had our own land to grow rice which was the main source of people’s income back then. Yeah. In other words, we were peasants or farmers. We were doing the hardest and dirtiest work for a living. Thankfully, as technology evolved, most manual works has been replaced by machines and now people’s life has become so much easier. I am so proud to see the progress my hometown has been made.

The atmosphere in our village was very friendly and communicative. We were just like a big family. We helped each other whenever needed. As a child, you could go anybody’s home to play since their doors were always open and welcoming. Those times were childhood memories I still cherish to this day.

I am now living in a city for work. I go back to my hometown during spring festival every year to reunite with my relatives and childhood friends. That’s the reason why spring festival is my favorite holiday.

Welcome to Ivy Land

Hi my dear visitors,

I’m so excited to launch my very first blog. My name is Ivy. I live in Guangdong, China. I am a mom of two at 32 years old. I work in the international business industry as a salesperson, and I am passionate about marketing and social sciences. Currently, I am trying to start my own business, and I wanted to share my entrepreneurship journey here.

I have a few weaknesses that I am still working on:

My writing abilities. This is probably the main reason why I started my own blog. I believe the more I write, the better it will become. As a business person, I need to express my ideas logically and succinctly to gain people’s trust. Here I am. I am ready to open up my professional and personal life starting here.

My business plan. Currently, I have a vague idea of how to start my business. It needs to be tested by time and practice. A precise and pragmatic business plan is what I want before I actually start it.

My social awkwardness. I am a naturally shy person. I don’t know how to handle social situations. I stutter and fumble around when I talk. In order to be successful, I need to improve my interpersonal skills.

I have tons of things that I want to talk about, but I will leave it for another day. I hope you guys can support me and reach out to be friends. See you later.